


Two Problems Can Cancel Each Other Out

by Prim_the_Amazing



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Davesprite Has A Cloaca, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Jade Has a Dog Dick, NSFW, POV Davesprite, Role Reversal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-05 08:19:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5368187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prim_the_Amazing/pseuds/Prim_the_Amazing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are two immediate glaring problems once the two of you actually decide to finally do the frickle frackle. You had thought there would only be one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Problems Can Cancel Each Other Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jaboody (jabody)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=jaboody+%28jabody%29).



There are two immediate glaring problems once the two of you actually decide to finally do the frickle frackle. You had thought there would only be one.

You see, well, there was the crow. It had been female. Why did you have to stab a fucking female crow? Why couldn’t it have been a dude? _Fuck_. So, long story short, once upon a time you accidentally stabbed a female crow dead and because of that you don’t have a dick any longer. Yup. That’s what happens. Totally fair.

What you had instead was a weird kind of birdgina. No, you have not gone exploring in its moist crevasses. Because the game saw fit to glue crow feet to your hands. _Haaah_. Whatever. So you have claw-talons that you are incapable of putting up in your… vagina, without messing you up something awful. So what? It’s not like you even wanted to. It’s weird. And gross. Boys aren’t supposed to have that many holes. (You may have pressed your crotch up against a table corner a time or two in the throes of frustration, but that doesn’t count.)

You admit, you _may_ have let that influence you just a bit when you and Jade were fooling around. You _may_ have let that fact considerably slow down the pace of your relationship, slowing it down to Mormon levels of ‘taking it slow’. Jade handled it like a champ though, although you always imagined some bitterness or bewilderment on her end. Imagined, because you are just now realizing that Jade _may_ have been putting the brakes on the sexy train of your relationship as much as you had been.

As you stare at her dog dick you feel oddly relieved. Surprised, of course. And now guilty as well, for feeling relieved. But you’re not the disappointing freak in this relationship. You both are. Which kind of makes neither of you disappointing freaks?

She blushes even harder a moment later, and you realize it’s because you’re smiling. Not cool. Gotta’ keep the Strider patented coolkid mask up at all times—ah, fuck it. This is your amazing girlfriend. You take off your shades.

“Cool,” you say in your trademark monotone, making eye contact with her, trying to convey that you’re being sincere here. You don’t think it quite comes through.

“If you’re making fun of me—“, she starts, blushing furiously, eyes down. She looks like she’s either about to start crying or shouting. Probably both.

“No, man, look at this.” And then, quickly so that you won’t hesitate or change your mind, you reach down to your crotch and spread the discreet line on lower body apart, two talon fingers on each side. Exposing yourself.

It feels like your face is about to start burning, and you force yourself to meet her eyes. Failure. Her radioactive green eyes are glued on your special place, wide, humiliation forgotten. At least you’ve done something right.

“What, did you think I had some kind of retractable dong or something?” you ask nervously to break the stifling silence, tone joking.

She starts, and her eyes dart back up to your face. She seems to soften when she sees your expression (expression what expression you’re stone faced as always that’s what you are) and she walks over to you on her hands and knees, mattress dipping down as she nears. She raises her arms and, oh, she’s hugging you, and then she’s laughing her wonderful laugh right in your ear.

“We’re such idiots,” she says fondly. “We should have just told each other earlier.”

“Heh, yeah,” you agree automatically, and you relax. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Jade’s great. “You’re great.”

“ _You’re_ great,” she retorts, and then she’s leaning heavily down on you, and you’re toppling over onto the bed. At least she lets you land on your side so that you don’t end up lying on the joints of your wings. Hurts.

The two of you are lying sideways, and she’s facing you, grinning. You’re smiling back at her, but then your eyebrows fly up when you feel her hand sliding gradually down your stomach towards…

“No good?” she asks, one eyebrow raised, tone careful.

After a moment you clear your throat and say, “Uh, nah, go ahead.” This is what the two of you were setting out to do, right? You sling an arm over her shoulder in a sort of hug, and she kisses your throat. You let out a little involuntary chirp, and you can feel Jade’s smile pressed up against your skin. She thinks it’s cute. Fuck, you can be cute for her. 

She reaches the metaphorical gold at the end of the rainbow, her finger going just a little bit in, and already you’re gasping, arching, tail curling in on itself. _Sogoodsosogood_. Her finger goes in slowly, achingly slowly, and you’re writhing. Jade extracts her finger and you whine, just a bit. She helps you up until you’re sitting up, and then she’s straddling you, holding you in place.

“You were moving around too much!” she says cheerily, smile big. You melt a bit.

The finger goes back in, and you cling to Jade, reminding yourself only to not sink your claws into her. Another finger. You’ve never had anything in there. You haven’t masturbated in years. You’ve only ever had hours of kissing and above clothes groping to mount the pressure with no way to release it, just let it frustratingly peter out over the rest of the day. You feel stretched, full, amazing. _This is amazing_. You’re not even paying attention to what’s coming out of your mouth, who cares.

The fingers come out again, and you notice that Jade is huffing, and her hand is holding her penis, angling it against your— _ahhhh_.

She jerks her hips down, and you bite down on her shoulder, muffling your scream. The next time she comes down you meet her, and it is even better. You fall into a rhythm, your clumsiness going away with repetition, but coming back the further and further the two of you are lost in the sensation. Whatever, it’s your first time. It’s awesome.

She comes first, hot spurting inside of you, and that’s what pushes you over the edge. You shout, and now there’s orange fluid dripping down, but not a crazy amount or anything. She loses her grip on you, and you flop down on your back, your wing joints be damned. She falls down on you without hesitation and the two of you just lie there for a while, catching your breaths.

Jade rolls over, tucks you up against her in a more comfortable position, and starts carding her fingers through your hair. You are all over that shit. Yeah, you should have done this _way_ sooner.


End file.
